This is a description of the modern theory of Ning. Not to be confused with String Theory, which tells you that everything you see is made of string. I always thought that if that were the case, I'd never be short of a bit of string when I need it, but sure as eggs are ovoid, I look around now and there's no string!
Ning theory is different. Ning pervades your waking life, and is an integral part of your sleep and wake process. Our ancient forefathers knew about it (believe it or not), and I'm going to prove that to you as you read this.
The evidence of Ning knowledge goes back to the origins of English, and possibly other languages too, I don't know. Consider the following phrases:
Have you ever been greeted by someone who looks at you, smiles cheerily and says "more ning", to which you can only groan? Why is that?
I have the answer. Throughout history, Humans have been a competitive race. From Peeing up the wall contests for men, to who has the biggest bust for women (Girls: It's shape not size that counts ok?).
so here's how it goes. I say "More ning" to imply that I have more Ning than you. If you have less, you are made automatically by your competitive spirit to feel bad. Come on, it's obvious who has more ning.. it's the guy or gal who looks OH so chipper first thing in the morning.
Now this is another nod to older ways of speaking. People used to say that an elderly relative, who was about to pass on, was in the eve of their life, as in their life had nearly run out. So Eve in this context (not the biblical one) means "end of"
But how does that apply to Ning theory, I hear you ask? It's easy. At the end of the day, you are nearly running out of Ning. Remember the chipper guy first thing in the morning? By 9pm you can guarantee that he has not got so much Ning left (you won't hear him say More Ning at 9pm, will you???.
During the morning, your body builds up high levels of Noon. An old word for midday (and for reference, 12:00 is NOT in the middle of MY day) was Noon Time. This is when the effects of a lack of Ning, and a growing quantity of Noon really begin to take hold, and all those people proudly crowing about how much Ning they had just plain old quit.
The After Noon is the time during the day when your body is beginning to feel the effects of a lack of Ning. I thnk the Human competitive nature is clearly not designed to take this very well, hence the lack of an expression in english of "Less Ning".
Glad you asked. My calculations, based on the observation of times of day people awake is thus:
There are a few forms of artificial Ning, some of which are legal and some of which are not. These all help you FEEL as though you have More Ning, but in reality the crash from Ning to Noon hits harder. These are your options:
Finally the most simple of all, and cheapest.
It's hard to say, but it's sure that Ning decreases faster than Noon increases, but Noon is more toxic. Look at this graph for a normal day of someone waking at 7am
As you can see, although there is less Ning going around, it decreases at a far slower rate than the noon increases. The advantage of the system is that, once you are asleep, the amount of Ning you have increases at a far more rapid rate than it decreases during the day, and the Noon decreases similarly rapidly. This explains why, after a late night out, you can wake up at 9am, and still feel as though you don't have enough Ning, but too much noon.
Some people will wake up very late in the day, but because they had plenty of sleep time to recover their Ning, they feel refreshed. These people are easily identifiable because they go around at 1pm and even 2pm saying "More Ning", but the people they say it to will tend to roll their eyes.
A Side effect of having too much Ning in the period when other people in your timezone have more Noon is that as the day draws toward a close, you find that you have too much Ning to sleep properly. The original correct term for this was of course "Ningsomniacs", but this has since been perverted to the more modern word "insomniacs". A change that will, I am sure, be reverted in the endless cycle of language modernisation.
If you have any enhancements to this theory that would round it off, or would like to make any comments, please feel free to send me an email. My email address is easy to work out (unpublished for spam reasons)
toby @ the bit before the .com in the address bar above
And I would love to hear from you
Toodle OO
Toby